The audacity of love

There are actually a lot of people in this world who don’t believe they’ll ever be in love. Like ever. This is not the same as having loved and lost said love. There are humans on this fascinating planet who don’t think they’ll ever meet someone who will make their heart sing, someone who’d they’d go to the ends of the earth and back for.

And I’m over here like…HOW?! 🤯🧐🤔😳

I guess cuz when it comes to love, I’m an eternal optimist who makes no apologies or concessions when it comes to the infinite possibilities of love one can have.

Notice I didn’t say anything regarding marriage. Marriage AIN’T for everybody. I do believe there is truly someone for everyone, and while our life paths are filled with twists, turns, valleys, and peaks, I am fully convinced that we all have innumerable opportunities to share our hearts with someone else. It might be brief. It might be until one of you dies; either way, I think it can happen for everyone.

Sometimes writing these thoughts out makes me wonder if people think I live in a fairytale. I’m sure there are some who do, and to them I say “Being in love should be magical. It should be beautiful. It should make you wanna extend yourself. It should give you constant glimmers of hope. It should be something everyone here has the joy to experience.”

I know loving someone and being in love with them are two different things. I guess the meat of my statements could boil down to this: All of us serve unique purposes on earth, and I hope you find some one (or several people) along the way to share your heart with.


All For Love… A Series

The day I found love

It was freshman year of college. I was sitting in my dorm room, shooting the breeze with my roommate when she mentioned that her cousin would be stopping by to visit. I really didn’t think much of it. But when the door opened and my head turned – there stood Love!

(Without sounding cliche) there was a ring of light surrounding her, and at that moment I knew we were connected. That moment also had me fumbling words and I rarely do that. I improvised and blurred, “I like your sneakers”, but my heart was saying so much more. I almost instantly walked away, but not without having a story that would last forever. That love has long faded but nostalgia frequently reminds me of the day I found Love.

– Latoya Nickee

When a meme is your reality…

I saw this on ig and immediately swooned!! 😍 😍 🙌🏾 👏🏾 ✨ ⚡️ 🤤🤧If your partner could wear the words you say about them, what would it look like? Too often, we say things without considering the consequences or the impact they may have.A committed, exclusive romantic relationship can be a beautiful, fulfilling thing. What things do you say to your partner? How do you build each other up? How do you quiet their insecurities (cuz we all got em)? How do you maintain that spark that drew you to them in the first place?The things you say to your partner about them in their relation to you have a tremendous effect on your relationship itself. Of course you love them, you’re in love with them… But how do you verbally express those things?I do believe love is a verb, an action; but those actions gotta be backed up with words, expressions of said love.If this is something you’re having difficulties with, write down some things you’d like to hear about yourself, then try saying them to your partner. Write things that you notice about your partner that are particularly impressive or heart-warming. Make note of when you see these things being exhibited and say something immediately to your love.Does your girlfriend take extra care when making your favorite dish, cooking it just the way you like? Tell her you love the way she pays attention to detail. Does your husband always leave your slippers by the bathroom door when you’re getting in the shower? Tell him how sweet you think he is for thinking about your comfort.I’d love to hear y’all feedback on this and follow up stories if you wanna share.✨🤗💞

All For Love… A Series

I wrote this back in July, just before I started talking to who is now my boyfriend.

The men you find on dating sites:
• The “toe-dipper”
This is the man who doesn’t fully disclose who he is on the dating site. In other words, they’re putting their big toe in the pool to test the temperature. Famous line – “I just want to see what’s out there.”
• The “free-artist”
They’re looking for someone who can appreciate them, their art, free-spirit…and their polyamorus lifestyle. Also at times critical of your lifestyle.
• The “buddy-finder”
They’re looking for the female equivalent of their best friend. You’d have all the same interests, pretty much the same everything…except you’d have the vagina. This way he doesn’t have to change his life for you, and he can have it all.
• The “bruh”
They’re still doing that drinking thing. They’re also “living life to the fullest.”
• The “drama-free zone”
They state that they’ve been down this road before and they “don’t need no one”. You have to prove that you are somehow different than the last five bitches who stomped on his heart. *Hint* You’re not different, but you’re also not the problem. He’s also not going to change.
• The “traveler”
They’re town just for the weekend. They need someone to ‘show them around town.’ We all know what this means- let’s just say that he’s not into a long-term relationship.
• The “friend searcher”
…The name says it all.
• The “script-flipper”
This devious man is the one who seems to have it all. You believe that there is a genuine chance that this could be someone that you see yourself with. Then after a few conversations you start feeling as though you’re going crazy. He puts you down while laughing or makes a judgmental statement about you with a smile.
• The “mysterious man”
You have your work cut out for you…his famous line is the only one on his profile…”want to know anything, just ask.” He’s trying to come across as open and friendly. He’s actually being lazy (you have to do all the work initiating a conversation) and attention-seeking. Must be nice to have women constantly seem interested in you.
• The “I’ve Done It All” man.
This guy has traveled the world…twice. He speaks multiple languages and he has embraced every adventure from mountain climbing to sky diving to scuba diving. You are amazed at everything thing he has done so you message him hoping for a response. You hear nothing. It crosses your mind that maybe this person isn’t real after all.
• The “video gamer”
Potentially has a bat cave…they will also not give up their video games. They will however be mesmerized if you joined them in their video game obsession.

All For Love… A Series

I wrote this poem earlier this year about a situation I was going through. Here it goes…

She said

“I do not want to date you”

But every time we intertwine

The vibe is

“I can never leave you”

And the heart and the mind

are reset and that is lethal

and this game that we play

is like roulette

but the gun is see through

and her bullet goes through my heart

ricochets around

clearing out all the other people

unequal but equal

I wait for another round

the sequel or the prequel.


All For Love… A Series

Running out of chances

In the back of my head, the idea that we all have only three loves in our lifetime has always permeated my thoughts. Maybe, it was hearsay, or maybe it was some truth. Up until a few years ago, I had only truly deeply loved two individuals.

My first love, was my college sweetheart, and that episode lasted for well over 10 years. There were break-ups, dishonesty from both parties, and the inability to never get on the same page. How it lasted so long, I couldn’t tell you. Maybe our stubbornness that couldn’t accept failure as an option, or the events that we shared together that were essential to our development as adults. We created a child together, and for that I am forever grateful, but the fire that created that child never was able to sustain us. Our ambition and success dragged the relationship out, because how could two talented people with sense fail so bad?

My second love was not after, or before my first, but at a time when we were not together. This person filled my spirit up with happiness and completion. I had never felt safer in a relationship, but I alone caused this one to fail. See, I was never in tune with her insecurity about my first love. She had never been in any serious relationships, and probably couldn’t grasp why I chose her over the first. I also didn’t clearly express to her how much I loved her or was willing to sacrifice for our future. I learned that my frustration with her insecurities and my habit of casting them off as silly, led to her to leave. So, when she left for good, it was too late. I didn’t cheat or even have a wandering eye, I just failed to have a beat on what her spirit needed from me. That love left me reeling and gasping for air. I thought I could not love a soul even more than that. Fortunately, and unfortunately, I was wrong.

My last love…she was on fire for me. She saw in me what I had blocked from seeing for myself because of all the things happening around me. I met her, and didn’t keep it honest with her for a long time. Holding the truth of a failed marriage I was still in, but separated from. Holding the truth of a child conceived in this failed marriage, initially. The failed marriage was from my first love and that was complicated. I had married my first love after my second love breaking up with me. Thinking wrongly, that I could instill the greatness of my second love into my first. Yes, messy, yes, all my fault. I was chasing what I really needed in something I knew I couldn’t have. When my emotional ties to my marriage was severed, I met Triple Trouble…that third love. She was a bit younger, super smart, and fiery. The mix of street and intelligent that I needed. She was my everything, but I could never communicate that with her. I had the burden of my past loves that made me unsure of this one. I wanted to give her the moon, but afraid that we would fail or that she would go off in the sunset. At each junction in the road, where a major decision for us was to be made…I hesitated, I blinked, I gasped for air. Could I take this leap and be ok?
Where I was risky with my first two, I was scared to jump in my third. She loved me with all her heart and I blinked when she needed me the most. The last time I blinked and opened my eyes, she was gone. Is she gone for good? I don’t know. But the thought of her gone has made breathing hurt, has made warm showers cold, and tears feel like glass coming down my face.

So, I am running out of chances. My reflection to myself is to never let fear run my life, run my love, and hamper me from pursuing happiness. I caused my pain because I didn’t learn lessons fast enough, change my damaging behaviors, and failed to embrace life’s obstacles by blinking. I will fix it, because never again will I let the person I love down. If I keep doing the same thing, I will definitely run out of chances of being with the person I am meant to be with.

– Domo

All For Love… A Series

An “I am not right for you” Love Story

I’m going to give a disclaimer and say that my love is based on what some may not consider to be “Real Love” but I like to think that I fall in love with nontraditional things, in nontraditional ways, and how things or people make me feel.

I was sitting at the bar alone. It was my first time in this place by myself, but I was waiting on a guy friend, because this was his crowd and he invited me out.

That night, I must’ve stuck out like a sore thumb, because it was the only time that I got hit on the most. He was on the mic calling out for people to come closer to the stage. I’m enjoying my drink so I know he wasn’t talking to me, but he was. He said, “hey beautiful, at the bar, with the locs” I WAS MORTIFIED!!, because I hate the spotlight.

I waved him off, and when my friend got there we mixed and mingled with the crowd.

Out of no where, this deep ass voice whispers in my ear and I damn near melted. He wanted to know if this was my first time here, who I came with and if I was really into the performances, buh bih, he put a spell on me.

All I could do was smile, nod and give short answers. We later talked that night and went over things we had in common. I was IN LOVE with him, that night; it was his voice.

I started to go to AWL of the local shows that his peoples put on so I could see him, but I was sick around him. I couldn’t talk around him. I just wanted to smell his dreads, which always smelled the same and almost always damp like he had just washed them. I was STILL in love.

I attended a show on the one year anniversary of my grandmother’s death, I was looking bomb as fuck and as soon as he started talking to me, I welled up with tears. We went outside to talk where we could hear each other. The moon was out, and bright. He talked about the solar system, religion, and vinyl records with me and my pussy was like HE IS THE ONE!!

We exchanged numbers and I just…I started picturing my life with him. I wonder what his dick tasted like, what his skin tasted like and how he felt inside of me. EVERY TIME we talked it was for hours on end. He respected my opinion, loved my viewpoint, and became a true friend.

I brought up sex and moving things to another level and he said, “I’m not the road you want to travel” or some shit like that and my feelings were hurt. Not hurt because so felt rejected but hurt because I felt embarrassed. Later on through our friendship he explained where he was in life, the woman situation in his life and I was cool with his response, but I still wanted him though. He made me realize that CONVERSATION was a turn on for me. A conversation with substance, disagreements, and lots of logic.

I loved and was in love with not only how he dressed, his voice, and his locs but I was in love with how he made me feel. He made me feel like I was worth listening to, worth being around and worth being honest to.

…When I moved to Atl, our convos weren’t as frequent, but when we had them, they were still lengthy…I wanted him to leave Oklahoma so bad and use his talents elsewhere, but I know he won’t and that’s what kills me.

I still love him, I probably always will.