(Written Sunday April 22, 2018)
Bruuhhhh yesterday was SO DOPE!!!
Mr. Huff’s Serene Self Portrait class was very euphoric, as we began with ten minutes of guided meditation. He usually guides meditation when it’s just the two of us so experiencing it with a group of people made me extra proud. I’ve never painted a self portrait, that I can recall, in my adult life. Here’s how mine progressed.
(Yall better not laugh. I’m not a visual artist by any means. 🙈😂🎨🖼️)
I had literally ten minutes to spare between his class and mine. When I went upstairs to set up my projector screen, I realized I left my notes home. 😣😩🙄🤯 I managed to remember and discuss five of the six points I had written down so I think I did aight. I streamed my class on self-love through Facebook live. Here’s the video for that.
Overall, it was fantastic having the opportunity to share my thoughts on love, boundaries, growth, and introspection. I was nervous a few times cuz I felt like I was talking too much 🙊 but it seemed balanced for the most part. Although 30 people signed up, I had a total of 13 attendees. Hearing their feedback on my topics was great for me not only as a facilitator, but as a person who enjoys reading and writing about self-love. I truly enjoy hearing other people’s perspectives on it.
Later that evening, we decided to go to a show at the Motor House. We took pictures and videos of a few familiar faces. I was pumped to finally meet Courtney, The Curvy Ballerina! Her spirit is beautiful as is her work.
Sunday was waaaay more lazy than it should’ve been, cuz my ass shoulda been packing for this trip! Wednesday can’t come soon enough but I know I’ll miss my lover terribly. 😩😩😭😭 My trip will be the longest we’ve been away from each other since we’ve been together so yeah, we ain’t feeling it; but I’m immensely grateful for video chat technology.
This was a lot so I’ll probably update once I get to St. Thomas.
Yesterday I braved my way to my dentist’s office; stomach in knots, worried about the needles, and most importantly, how hideous I’d look afterward. To my surprise, she got the anesthesia in without a hitch!
Apparently there are two types used during the procedure; one has epinephrine (a stimulant), the other doesn’t. So she inserts the non-epi drug into my semi-numb gums first then the next drug. When I tell y’all that method made a WORLD of a difference!!! The epi drug is the one that gives that tingling burst sensation in the gums upon insertion. Since she does that one last, my gums are already numb from the first drug so I couldn’t really feel it.💞💞💞🙌🏾🙌🏾🤧🤧
Two hours, three fillings and a crown mold later, I was all set! And what made it better was the fact that she let me play my own music so I wouldn’t hear the drilling as much. I love that my dentist is a Black woman with natural hair. Representation matters, especially in healthcare.
I definitely need to cut back on my sugar intake cuz I already have four more fillings scheduled. 😩🙈
In less painful news, my friend and I booked our flights to St. Thomas for Carnival in April!! ✈️🛩🏊🏽♀️🧚🏽♀️💃🏽💃🏽🏝🏖⛱It’ll be my second time playing mas, and I can’t wait to pick our costumes. I’ve been working 60-75 hours a week lately since we’re short staffed and one of my coworkers died a month ago. At first when she gave me the trip dates, I was like “daaag I can’t take all those days off work!” but I quickly dismissed that thought.
I DESERVE. And not just cuz I’m working like crazy, but I deserve to go to the beach, dress up in beautiful clothes, dance, eat, and drink with hundreds of beautiful people cuz that’s the kind of stuff I enjoy. Also, since I didn’t make it to Puerto Rico for my birthday in September, I’ve been salty about not making it to the beach.
I think self love is whatever is healthy for you that you choose to engage in on whatever basis you like. It doesn’t have to be some grandiose spa trip with all the frills. Self love for me is definitely on a spectrum. I can spend my evening in silence with hot tea, animal crackers, and incense burning, or I can hop the next plane smoking to Miami for a weekend. Either way, I gotta remind myself to do things I enjoy because I wanna do them.
I can’t remember where I saw this message, but to paraphrase…
Don’t always save up things for the perfect time. Do them now. Enjoy things now. That dress you wanna wear for that wedding in the summer? Wear it next weekend! That recipe you saw on Pinterest that wanna try for your friend’s birthday? Cook it tonight! That poem you were gonna recite for the big poetry night? Do it impromptu in front of your friends.
I’m not saying don’t anticipate your big moments, just don’t get so caught up in timing being right that you miss out on the essence of that thing itself.