Returning as a changed woman

I haven’t posted on here in months. A lot has changed. Some great, some bittersweet. All of it necessary though.

I went to St. Thomas for Carnival and felt invigorated, only to return to a crumbling relationship; the end of which made me want to go right back on vacation. I immediately contacted the travel recruiters for medical technologists I used to be in touch with, updated my profile, and began looking up cities that I could call my next home.

My contract at work was up the following week, and my apartment lease was for the end of June. Everything was falling apart/ending , only to make me prepare to rebuild/restabilize…..

Well, my work contract got extended (twice!), I didn’t pass the ASCP exam (which I’m about to reschedule), and my sister Faith had her baby. So yeah moving away wasn’t in my best interests in the short time that I’d decided but it’s still on the table.

What makes me say that is my experience in New Orleans. I randomly decided to go while at work one day in late May. Something was calling me about that city, and I’d been wanting to go for years. Not just for Essence or Mardi Gras, but to experience the culture. I have several associates and friends who live there so I was quick to ask for recommendations. I booked a relatively cheap flight ($162!), and skipped my happy ass there from June 14-17.

A homegirl I went to Morgan with lives there and let me to crash at her place. I was ecstatic! But I also wanted alone time, so I booked an Airbnb for the remainder of my trip. Soooo much happened in the four days I was there; I’ll make a separate post just for that trip. But I can see myself living there… Like for real. I got my palm read in the French Market and babbyyy when I tell you I slid out of my chair at the accuracy of the messages! Thank you to Michelle, the palm reader. I also met someone my last night there. The way our paths crossed is something out of a romance movie but again, that’s for another post, another time. Just know that I’ve been beaming ever since!

Toward the end of June, I completed my doula training and am now a full circle birth worker! You can read more about my training here. I cried my eyes out when I got my certificate. It was such an emotional moment, and my sister Faith got to be part of my training, since we had a blessing way for her and my nephew Xavier.

I also went to Baltimore’s Carnival in July, and the guy I met in NOLA was there too (part of how we hit it off)! My friends and I played DC Mud Mas which was A LOT of fun. I definitely gotta do that again. And there were parties leading up to the parade as well. Since my mom discovered we’re Haitian on her dad’s side, I’m doing what I can to immerse myself in Caribbean culture.

On a sad note, my friend Ciera’s mom passed after a lengthy battle with cancer. She took NO shit from anyone and I love that about her. May she rest in power.

Finally, on a high note, my sister Faith had her baby August 1st at 5:02 pm. She labored for awhile and went without medicine as long as she could, but ended up getting a C-section because she wasn’t dilated enough. Xavier has the sweetest little face and I am so proud of my sister for her hard work!

Whewww that was a lot! I won’t stay away so long ever again. Thanks for reading and I’ll be back with more updates soon. 😘

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The dating scene throughout history: A humorous synopsis

Y’all really think dating is so tough in 2018, huh?

Let’s step back in history and see how the political/economical climates may one-up this current time.

1) The good ole Great Depression: If you thought that young lady you saw in the market was gorgeous, you couldn’t afford to even look her in the eye cuz you knew you’d be in line sun up to sundown ALL week tryna get a job. Ya ass was broke phiiii broke. YOU AIN’T GOT IT!

NEXT! ✅

2) The Civil War Era: This should be self-explanatory but… Let’s say you AREN’T a slave, or a free Negro. You’re not Black at all; but the man with the fancy stagecoach and perfectly groomed horses just so happens to be a Confederate soldier. You can’t bring him home to your Union daddy and brothers now, can you?

NEXT! ✅

3) World War 2: It’s bad enough the country is at war with so many other nations, but now the sweet school teacher you’ve been winking at all week will have to wait hopefully until you return from your tour of duty. Why? Cuz the draft went into effect from 1940-1973 and your ass is eligible.

NEXT! ✅

4) The Black Death: Also known as the plague, this wiped out 60% of Europe’s population in the mid 1300s. So that cute guy you saw leading the herd of goats through the marketplace probably gonna die by Saturday. 🤷🏽‍♀️🤧😬🤕

NEXT! ✅

5) The Crack Era/Reaganomics: As you should know, during the late 1980’s, cocaine was disproportionately shoveled into low-income neighborhoods, where the residents were predominantly black. Your mcm was an aspiring writer and poet, and yeah he had free will, but he took one hit of that ready rock and got caught up in the life. He’s either dead or in jail by now. So are his friends.

NEXT! ✅

I said all of this to say people have persevered through unimaginable horrors throughout time. Life (and the dating scene) is what YOU make it. Stop crying about how social media is ruining things and get out there. 💕🗣

New mindset, who dis?

January is more than half way over. If he ain’t messaging you back consistently, delete his number!

Same for y’all, fellas. If you feel like you’re making all the effort, drop her!

We are cutting bullshit SHORT in 2018! Live your best life!

💞✨🙌🏾📲📵

One week and some change into 2018

Here I am fighting off a sinus infection, grateful to be in a warm home. I’m actually at my parents’ house “shopping” for spices and herbs to add to my cabinet. 😂

I checked on my thermostat earlier and decided to let my house warm up since it’s a bone chilling 40 degrees in there. I’m really thinking of buying two or three more space heaters cuz the way my electric bill is looking… I’m not tryna spend a considerable portion of my income heating my home. My dad gave me tips on how to winterize my place so that’s my project for the week.

My love story submissions have been coming along well. There are some people I have to follow up with soon and I gotta pick up my flyers today. I’m extremely proud of and very happy to have collaborated with my sweetheart to design my logo.

There are multiple color options but the overall format is the same. I posted a printout at my job since we have an advertisement board, but now I’m figuring out which cafes, bookstores, and creative spaces would be best to put my flyers. I live in a fairly diverse neighborhood, and the art district is minutes from me.

I really see this becoming something bigger than me, and that both excites and scares me. This is already a year of me doing things I had only spoken about for years. What I really have to remember is to keep myself in balance.

As a middle child as well as a Libra, I try to avoid conflict and be diplomatic at all costs (to a fault, sometimes 🙄). It is imperative that I create a balance between my home life, love life, social life, and social media presence. If y’all have any ideas or tips that have worked for you, I’d love to hear them!

All For Love… A Series

An “I am not right for you” Love Story

I’m going to give a disclaimer and say that my love is based on what some may not consider to be “Real Love” but I like to think that I fall in love with nontraditional things, in nontraditional ways, and how things or people make me feel.

I was sitting at the bar alone. It was my first time in this place by myself, but I was waiting on a guy friend, because this was his crowd and he invited me out.

That night, I must’ve stuck out like a sore thumb, because it was the only time that I got hit on the most. He was on the mic calling out for people to come closer to the stage. I’m enjoying my drink so I know he wasn’t talking to me, but he was. He said, “hey beautiful, at the bar, with the locs” I WAS MORTIFIED!!, because I hate the spotlight.

I waved him off, and when my friend got there we mixed and mingled with the crowd.

Out of no where, this deep ass voice whispers in my ear and I damn near melted. He wanted to know if this was my first time here, who I came with and if I was really into the performances, buh bih, he put a spell on me.

All I could do was smile, nod and give short answers. We later talked that night and went over things we had in common. I was IN LOVE with him, that night; it was his voice.

I started to go to AWL of the local shows that his peoples put on so I could see him, but I was sick around him. I couldn’t talk around him. I just wanted to smell his dreads, which always smelled the same and almost always damp like he had just washed them. I was STILL in love.

I attended a show on the one year anniversary of my grandmother’s death, I was looking bomb as fuck and as soon as he started talking to me, I welled up with tears. We went outside to talk where we could hear each other. The moon was out, and bright. He talked about the solar system, religion, and vinyl records with me and my pussy was like HE IS THE ONE!!

We exchanged numbers and I just…I started picturing my life with him. I wonder what his dick tasted like, what his skin tasted like and how he felt inside of me. EVERY TIME we talked it was for hours on end. He respected my opinion, loved my viewpoint, and became a true friend.

I brought up sex and moving things to another level and he said, “I’m not the road you want to travel” or some shit like that and my feelings were hurt. Not hurt because so felt rejected but hurt because I felt embarrassed. Later on through our friendship he explained where he was in life, the woman situation in his life and I was cool with his response, but I still wanted him though. He made me realize that CONVERSATION was a turn on for me. A conversation with substance, disagreements, and lots of logic.

I loved and was in love with not only how he dressed, his voice, and his locs but I was in love with how he made me feel. He made me feel like I was worth listening to, worth being around and worth being honest to.

…When I moved to Atl, our convos weren’t as frequent, but when we had them, they were still lengthy…I wanted him to leave Oklahoma so bad and use his talents elsewhere, but I know he won’t and that’s what kills me.

I still love him, I probably always will.

-Millie

Meditation, grounding, and purpose

After an unexpectedly long day at work, followed by running errands, I got home and forced myself to cook. Thanks to the holiday season, I’ve eaten like a slovenly derelict all week. 😭😭😭Hella potlucks and indulgent desserts had my intestines cussing me out. I made a kale salad with red peppers, cauliflower, mushrooms, cherry tomatoes, and zucchini; accompanied by red beans and rice. I will have authentic Creole red beans and rice some day.

I haven’t meditated in a few days so I decided to shower and do that before bed. Honestly, last night’s meditation was one of the most powerful I’ve ever had! I looked at my mirror affirmations and read them to myself. I wrote my intentions on bay leaves, elaborated on what I desired for myself, and burned them one by one with a lighter.

Of course I had incense burning (just bought some pomegranate scented!), and had Toro y Moi on shuffle. I definitely felt some shivers as I went through this practice, and I knew the Universe heard my petitions.

My session ended with these thoughts: I’m on this earth during this lifetime to invite and foster connections between people, to be a listener, and to show people that someone truly cares. Those things will manifest in various ways and I want to do my absolute best at making them happen.

I slept maaad deep after that, as I normally do after meditating. This upcoming year is going to be one for the books. I can feel it.

🤗🔥⚡️✨🌟🧝🏾‍♀️👸🏽🧜🏾‍♀️🧚🏽‍♀️☄️

All For Love… A Series

The Randomest Meet-up Ever

I had been widowed a little more than a year and a half, still grieving, still sorting out all kinds of painful emotions and just generally trying to live my life when one evening after work I decided to hit the “likka stow” and pick up some goods for myself and my then-roommate.   I pull into the parking lot of said establishment and while cruising the parking lot I dropped my iPod.  I stopped hard to pick it up and realize this HUGE cop inside the store is glaring at me, and  probably going to come out and give me a ticket for impeding traffic.  I slink into a space, hop out and go in the store.    I wind up getting more than I had planned on and the cashier boxes it up.  I go to pick up the box and leave the store and here is big Mr. Officer… in all his well over 6 foot, lightskinned, good haired glory.  He is SMILING, and he has offered to carry my box to the car, in a baritone that I’m sure earns side coin melting panties on a sex line.

We walk to my truck, he loads the box and then we struck up a conversation.  I’m SURE he is married… nope… I’m sure he’s a PLAYER.. NOPE…. He’s just this big burly adorable guy and we talked for like 40 minutes before we exchanged numbers.  We spent the night TEXTING and then met up for breakfast the next day (he conveniently lives less than five miles away).  Three days later we both decided together that we were in a WHOLE relationship, and we married three years later.

… Three years of marriage, a ton of growth on both our parts later and I still have zero regrets…

– T.J.