The dating scene throughout history: A humorous synopsis

Y’all really think dating is so tough in 2018, huh?

Let’s step back in history and see how the political/economical climates may one-up this current time.

1) The good ole Great Depression: If you thought that young lady you saw in the market was gorgeous, you couldn’t afford to even look her in the eye cuz you knew you’d be in line sun up to sundown ALL week tryna get a job. Ya ass was broke phiiii broke. YOU AIN’T GOT IT!

NEXT! βœ…

2) The Civil War Era: This should be self-explanatory but… Let’s say you AREN’T a slave, or a free Negro. You’re not Black at all; but the man with the fancy stagecoach and perfectly groomed horses just so happens to be a Confederate soldier. You can’t bring him home to your Union daddy and brothers now, can you?

NEXT! βœ…

3) World War 2: It’s bad enough the country is at war with so many other nations, but now the sweet school teacher you’ve been winking at all week will have to wait hopefully until you return from your tour of duty. Why? Cuz the draft went into effect from 1940-1973 and your ass is eligible.

NEXT! βœ…

4) The Black Death: Also known as the plague, this wiped out 60% of Europe’s population in the mid 1300s. So that cute guy you saw leading the herd of goats through the marketplace probably gonna die by Saturday. πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ€§πŸ˜¬πŸ€•

NEXT! βœ…

5) The Crack Era/Reaganomics: As you should know, during the late 1980’s, cocaine was disproportionately shoveled into low-income neighborhoods, where the residents were predominantly black. Your mcm was an aspiring writer and poet, and yeah he had free will, but he took one hit of that ready rock and got caught up in the life. He’s either dead or in jail by now. So are his friends.

NEXT! βœ…

I said all of this to say people have persevered through unimaginable horrors throughout time. Life (and the dating scene) is what YOU make it. Stop crying about how social media is ruining things and get out there. πŸ’•πŸ—£

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2018 continues to glow up!

I’m very excited to announce that I’ll be leading a seminar on #selflove and living your best life Saturday April 21st from 1-2:30 pm at Maryland Institute College of Art. It’s free! Sign up and tell a friend!

#Nakexchange #liveyourbestlife

nakexchange.org/courses/146

Dental work and self love

Yesterday I braved my way to my dentist’s office; stomach in knots, worried about the needles, and most importantly, how hideous I’d look afterward. To my surprise, she got the anesthesia in without a hitch!

Apparently there are two types used during the procedure; one has epinephrine (a stimulant), the other doesn’t. So she inserts the non-epi drug into my semi-numb gums first then the next drug. When I tell y’all that method made a WORLD of a difference!!! The epi drug is the one that gives that tingling burst sensation in the gums upon insertion. Since she does that one last, my gums are already numb from the first drug so I couldn’t really feel it.πŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ™ŒπŸΎπŸ™ŒπŸΎπŸ€§πŸ€§

Two hours, three fillings and a crown mold later, I was all set! And what made it better was the fact that she let me play my own music so I wouldn’t hear the drilling as much. I love that my dentist is a Black woman with natural hair. Representation matters, especially in healthcare.

I definitely need to cut back on my sugar intake cuz I already have four more fillings scheduled. πŸ˜©πŸ™ˆ

In less painful news, my friend and I booked our flights to St. Thomas for Carnival in April!! βœˆοΈπŸ›©πŸŠπŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ§šπŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ’ƒπŸ½πŸ’ƒπŸ½πŸπŸ–β›±It’ll be my second time playing mas, and I can’t wait to pick our costumes. I’ve been working 60-75 hours a week lately since we’re short staffed and one of my coworkers died a month ago. At first when she gave me the trip dates, I was like “daaag I can’t take all those days off work!” but I quickly dismissed that thought.

I DESERVE. And not just cuz I’m working like crazy, but I deserve to go to the beach, dress up in beautiful clothes, dance, eat, and drink with hundreds of beautiful people cuz that’s the kind of stuff I enjoy. Also, since I didn’t make it to Puerto Rico for my birthday in September, I’ve been salty about not making it to the beach.

I think self love is whatever is healthy for you that you choose to engage in on whatever basis you like. It doesn’t have to be some grandiose spa trip with all the frills. Self love for me is definitely on a spectrum. I can spend my evening in silence with hot tea, animal crackers, and incense burning, or I can hop the next plane smoking to Miami for a weekend. Either way, I gotta remind myself to do things I enjoy because I wanna do them.

I can’t remember where I saw this message, but to paraphrase…

Don’t always save up things for the perfect time. Do them now. Enjoy things now. That dress you wanna wear for that wedding in the summer? Wear it next weekend! That recipe you saw on Pinterest that wanna try for your friend’s birthday? Cook it tonight! That poem you were gonna recite for the big poetry night? Do it impromptu in front of your friends.

I’m not saying don’t anticipate your big moments, just don’t get so caught up in timing being right that you miss out on the essence of that thing itself.

All For Love… A Series

The day I found love

It was freshman year of college. I was sitting in my dorm room, shooting the breeze with my roommate when she mentioned that her cousin would be stopping by to visit. I really didn’t think much of it. But when the door opened and my head turned – there stood Love!

(Without sounding cliche) there was a ring of light surrounding her, and at that moment I knew we were connected. That moment also had me fumbling words and I rarely do that. I improvised and blurred, β€œI like your sneakers”, but my heart was saying so much more. I almost instantly walked away, but not without having a story that would last forever. That love has long faded but nostalgia frequently reminds me of the day I found Love.

– Latoya Nickee

When a meme is your reality…

I saw this on ig and immediately swooned!! 😍 😍 πŸ™ŒπŸΎ πŸ‘πŸΎ ✨ ⚑️ 🀀🀧If your partner could wear the words you say about them, what would it look like? Too often, we say things without considering the consequences or the impact they may have.A committed, exclusive romantic relationship can be a beautiful, fulfilling thing. What things do you say to your partner? How do you build each other up? How do you quiet their insecurities (cuz we all got em)? How do you maintain that spark that drew you to them in the first place?The things you say to your partner about them in their relation to you have a tremendous effect on your relationship itself. Of course you love them, you’re in love with them… But how do you verbally express those things?I do believe love is a verb, an action; but those actions gotta be backed up with words, expressions of said love.If this is something you’re having difficulties with, write down some things you’d like to hear about yourself, then try saying them to your partner. Write things that you notice about your partner that are particularly impressive or heart-warming. Make note of when you see these things being exhibited and say something immediately to your love.Does your girlfriend take extra care when making your favorite dish, cooking it just the way you like? Tell her you love the way she pays attention to detail. Does your husband always leave your slippers by the bathroom door when you’re getting in the shower? Tell him how sweet you think he is for thinking about your comfort.I’d love to hear y’all feedback on this and follow up stories if you wanna share.βœ¨πŸ€—πŸ’ž

All For Love… A Series

I wrote this back in July, just before I started talking to who is now my boyfriend.

The men you find on dating sites:
β€’ The “toe-dipper”
This is the man who doesn’t fully disclose who he is on the dating site. In other words, they’re putting their big toe in the pool to test the temperature. Famous line – “I just want to see what’s out there.”
β€’ The “free-artist”
They’re looking for someone who can appreciate them, their art, free-spirit…and their polyamorus lifestyle. Also at times critical of your lifestyle.
β€’ The “buddy-finder”
They’re looking for the female equivalent of their best friend. You’d have all the same interests, pretty much the same everything…except you’d have the vagina. This way he doesn’t have to change his life for you, and he can have it all.
β€’ The “bruh”
They’re still doing that drinking thing. They’re also “living life to the fullest.”
β€’ The “drama-free zone”
They state that they’ve been down this road before and they “don’t need no one”. You have to prove that you are somehow different than the last five bitches who stomped on his heart. *Hint* You’re not different, but you’re also not the problem. He’s also not going to change.
β€’ The “traveler”
They’re town just for the weekend. They need someone to ‘show them around town.’ We all know what this means- let’s just say that he’s not into a long-term relationship.
β€’ The “friend searcher”
…The name says it all.
β€’ The “script-flipper”
This devious man is the one who seems to have it all. You believe that there is a genuine chance that this could be someone that you see yourself with. Then after a few conversations you start feeling as though you’re going crazy. He puts you down while laughing or makes a judgmental statement about you with a smile.
β€’ The “mysterious man”
You have your work cut out for you…his famous line is the only one on his profile…”want to know anything, just ask.” He’s trying to come across as open and friendly. He’s actually being lazy (you have to do all the work initiating a conversation) and attention-seeking. Must be nice to have women constantly seem interested in you.
β€’ The “I’ve Done It All” man.
This guy has traveled the world…twice. He speaks multiple languages and he has embraced every adventure from mountain climbing to sky diving to scuba diving. You are amazed at everything thing he has done so you message him hoping for a response. You hear nothing. It crosses your mind that maybe this person isn’t real after all.
β€’ The “video gamer”
Potentially has a bat cave…they will also not give up their video games. They will however be mesmerized if you joined them in their video game obsession.