NAK Exchange Day!

(Written Sunday April 22, 2018)

Bruuhhhh yesterday was SO DOPE!!!

Mr. Huff’s Serene Self Portrait class was very euphoric, as we began with ten minutes of guided meditation. He usually guides meditation when it’s just the two of us so experiencing it with a group of people made me extra proud. I’ve never painted a self portrait, that I can recall, in my adult life. Here’s how mine progressed.

(Yall better not laugh. I’m not a visual artist by any means. 🙈😂🎨🖼️)

I had literally ten minutes to spare between his class and mine. When I went upstairs to set up my projector screen, I realized I left my notes home. 😣😩🙄🤯 I managed to remember and discuss five of the six points I had written down so I think I did aight. I streamed my class on self-love through Facebook live. Here’s the video for that.

Overall, it was fantastic having the opportunity to share my thoughts on love, boundaries, growth, and introspection. I was nervous a few times cuz I felt like I was talking too much 🙊 but it seemed balanced for the most part. Although 30 people signed up, I had a total of 13 attendees. Hearing their feedback on my topics was great for me not only as a facilitator, but as a person who enjoys reading and writing about self-love. I truly enjoy hearing other people’s perspectives on it.

Later that evening, we decided to go to a show at the Motor House. We took pictures and videos of a few familiar faces. I was pumped to finally meet Courtney, The Curvy Ballerina! Her spirit is beautiful as is her work.

Sunday was waaaay more lazy than it should’ve been, cuz my ass shoulda been packing for this trip! Wednesday can’t come soon enough but I know I’ll miss my lover terribly. 😩😩😭😭 My trip will be the longest we’ve been away from each other since we’ve been together so yeah, we ain’t feeling it; but I’m immensely grateful for video chat technology.

This was a lot so I’ll probably update once I get to St. Thomas.

💞💞

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New mindset, who dis?

January is more than half way over. If he ain’t messaging you back consistently, delete his number!

Same for y’all, fellas. If you feel like you’re making all the effort, drop her!

We are cutting bullshit SHORT in 2018! Live your best life!

💞✨🙌🏾📲📵

All For Love… A Series

Running out of chances

In the back of my head, the idea that we all have only three loves in our lifetime has always permeated my thoughts. Maybe, it was hearsay, or maybe it was some truth. Up until a few years ago, I had only truly deeply loved two individuals.

My first love, was my college sweetheart, and that episode lasted for well over 10 years. There were break-ups, dishonesty from both parties, and the inability to never get on the same page. How it lasted so long, I couldn’t tell you. Maybe our stubbornness that couldn’t accept failure as an option, or the events that we shared together that were essential to our development as adults. We created a child together, and for that I am forever grateful, but the fire that created that child never was able to sustain us. Our ambition and success dragged the relationship out, because how could two talented people with sense fail so bad?

My second love was not after, or before my first, but at a time when we were not together. This person filled my spirit up with happiness and completion. I had never felt safer in a relationship, but I alone caused this one to fail. See, I was never in tune with her insecurity about my first love. She had never been in any serious relationships, and probably couldn’t grasp why I chose her over the first. I also didn’t clearly express to her how much I loved her or was willing to sacrifice for our future. I learned that my frustration with her insecurities and my habit of casting them off as silly, led to her to leave. So, when she left for good, it was too late. I didn’t cheat or even have a wandering eye, I just failed to have a beat on what her spirit needed from me. That love left me reeling and gasping for air. I thought I could not love a soul even more than that. Fortunately, and unfortunately, I was wrong.

My last love…she was on fire for me. She saw in me what I had blocked from seeing for myself because of all the things happening around me. I met her, and didn’t keep it honest with her for a long time. Holding the truth of a failed marriage I was still in, but separated from. Holding the truth of a child conceived in this failed marriage, initially. The failed marriage was from my first love and that was complicated. I had married my first love after my second love breaking up with me. Thinking wrongly, that I could instill the greatness of my second love into my first. Yes, messy, yes, all my fault. I was chasing what I really needed in something I knew I couldn’t have. When my emotional ties to my marriage was severed, I met Triple Trouble…that third love. She was a bit younger, super smart, and fiery. The mix of street and intelligent that I needed. She was my everything, but I could never communicate that with her. I had the burden of my past loves that made me unsure of this one. I wanted to give her the moon, but afraid that we would fail or that she would go off in the sunset. At each junction in the road, where a major decision for us was to be made…I hesitated, I blinked, I gasped for air. Could I take this leap and be ok?
Where I was risky with my first two, I was scared to jump in my third. She loved me with all her heart and I blinked when she needed me the most. The last time I blinked and opened my eyes, she was gone. Is she gone for good? I don’t know. But the thought of her gone has made breathing hurt, has made warm showers cold, and tears feel like glass coming down my face.

So, I am running out of chances. My reflection to myself is to never let fear run my life, run my love, and hamper me from pursuing happiness. I caused my pain because I didn’t learn lessons fast enough, change my damaging behaviors, and failed to embrace life’s obstacles by blinking. I will fix it, because never again will I let the person I love down. If I keep doing the same thing, I will definitely run out of chances of being with the person I am meant to be with.

– Domo

Meditation, grounding, and purpose

After an unexpectedly long day at work, followed by running errands, I got home and forced myself to cook. Thanks to the holiday season, I’ve eaten like a slovenly derelict all week. 😭😭😭Hella potlucks and indulgent desserts had my intestines cussing me out. I made a kale salad with red peppers, cauliflower, mushrooms, cherry tomatoes, and zucchini; accompanied by red beans and rice. I will have authentic Creole red beans and rice some day.

I haven’t meditated in a few days so I decided to shower and do that before bed. Honestly, last night’s meditation was one of the most powerful I’ve ever had! I looked at my mirror affirmations and read them to myself. I wrote my intentions on bay leaves, elaborated on what I desired for myself, and burned them one by one with a lighter.

Of course I had incense burning (just bought some pomegranate scented!), and had Toro y Moi on shuffle. I definitely felt some shivers as I went through this practice, and I knew the Universe heard my petitions.

My session ended with these thoughts: I’m on this earth during this lifetime to invite and foster connections between people, to be a listener, and to show people that someone truly cares. Those things will manifest in various ways and I want to do my absolute best at making them happen.

I slept maaad deep after that, as I normally do after meditating. This upcoming year is going to be one for the books. I can feel it.

🤗🔥⚡️✨🌟🧝🏾‍♀️👸🏽🧜🏾‍♀️🧚🏽‍♀️☄️

All For Love… A series

Well after trying to restore myself after a broken relationship, I found him! I wasn’t looking for him though. I really wanted to focus on myself but one hot Memorial Day at a cookout, there he was. He approached me and gave me his undivided attention. It started off with a simple handshake that grew into an amazing friendship. He told me how dope I was and how he enjoyed getting to know me . We talked everyday on the phone, traveled with each other, then made it official. We live together now; he loves my daughter and I have big love for his sons. I hope one day we will tie the knot and make it a couple of forevers!

– KAW

Tell me a love story 💞

If you’ve ever been in love, believe in love at first sight, are married, engaged, divorced, widowed, or dating…

Tell me your love stories! I’m putting them on my vlog, Bmore Beloved.

Email me at Alicia@bmorebeloved.com.

All For Love… A series

This is the first of many love stories I will share with you all. While this blog will definitely contain my own thoughts and feelings, I feel that’s it’s important to share what others feel. You can participate in this if you like.

My request is simple: tell me your love story. It could be love at first sight, a thirty year marriage, a fledgling romance, or a fling overseas. You can remain anonymous, use your initials, or choose an alias.

The goal I have in mind is to help people connect with others through storytelling, learn how to express their feelings on love and romance, find inspiration from each other, and ultimately understand that love is something unique and intriguing to all of us.

 

 

“I don’t even know how to start this but, I found my better half this year on twitter. We both live in different states, so it’s been a tough transition from being single. They say when you know, you know. I feel in my heart that she’s the one. We’re a few years apart in age but she’s help me grow tremendously. I think I’ve done the same for her as well. I’ve got plans of making her my wife very soon.

Patience is an issue for me but you really can’t put a time limit on love. We’re almost a year strong, and everything started from me trying to be a supportive ear. We clicked after that message. She’s been hurt and so have I. Even still, I try to reassure her that she’s my world and I’ll do whatever I have to be in her orbit.”

– Norm