Returning as a changed woman

I haven’t posted on here in months. A lot has changed. Some great, some bittersweet. All of it necessary though.

I went to St. Thomas for Carnival and felt invigorated, only to return to a crumbling relationship; the end of which made me want to go right back on vacation. I immediately contacted the travel recruiters for medical technologists I used to be in touch with, updated my profile, and began looking up cities that I could call my next home.

My contract at work was up the following week, and my apartment lease was for the end of June. Everything was falling apart/ending , only to make me prepare to rebuild/restabilize…..

Well, my work contract got extended (twice!), I didn’t pass the ASCP exam (which I’m about to reschedule), and my sister Faith had her baby. So yeah moving away wasn’t in my best interests in the short time that I’d decided but it’s still on the table.

What makes me say that is my experience in New Orleans. I randomly decided to go while at work one day in late May. Something was calling me about that city, and I’d been wanting to go for years. Not just for Essence or Mardi Gras, but to experience the culture. I have several associates and friends who live there so I was quick to ask for recommendations. I booked a relatively cheap flight ($162!), and skipped my happy ass there from June 14-17.

A homegirl I went to Morgan with lives there and let me to crash at her place. I was ecstatic! But I also wanted alone time, so I booked an Airbnb for the remainder of my trip. Soooo much happened in the four days I was there; I’ll make a separate post just for that trip. But I can see myself living there… Like for real. I got my palm read in the French Market and babbyyy when I tell you I slid out of my chair at the accuracy of the messages! Thank you to Michelle, the palm reader. I also met someone my last night there. The way our paths crossed is something out of a romance movie but again, that’s for another post, another time. Just know that I’ve been beaming ever since!

Toward the end of June, I completed my doula training and am now a full circle birth worker! You can read more about my training here. I cried my eyes out when I got my certificate. It was such an emotional moment, and my sister Faith got to be part of my training, since we had a blessing way for her and my nephew Xavier.

I also went to Baltimore’s Carnival in July, and the guy I met in NOLA was there too (part of how we hit it off)! My friends and I played DC Mud Mas which was A LOT of fun. I definitely gotta do that again. And there were parties leading up to the parade as well. Since my mom discovered we’re Haitian on her dad’s side, I’m doing what I can to immerse myself in Caribbean culture.

On a sad note, my friend Ciera’s mom passed after a lengthy battle with cancer. She took NO shit from anyone and I love that about her. May she rest in power.

Finally, on a high note, my sister Faith had her baby August 1st at 5:02 pm. She labored for awhile and went without medicine as long as she could, but ended up getting a C-section because she wasn’t dilated enough. Xavier has the sweetest little face and I am so proud of my sister for her hard work!

Whewww that was a lot! I won’t stay away so long ever again. Thanks for reading and I’ll be back with more updates soon. 😘


NAK Exchange Day!

(Written Sunday April 22, 2018)

Bruuhhhh yesterday was SO DOPE!!!

Mr. Huff’s Serene Self Portrait class was very euphoric, as we began with ten minutes of guided meditation. He usually guides meditation when it’s just the two of us so experiencing it with a group of people made me extra proud. I’ve never painted a self portrait, that I can recall, in my adult life. Here’s how mine progressed.

(Yall better not laugh. I’m not a visual artist by any means. πŸ™ˆπŸ˜‚πŸŽ¨πŸ–ΌοΈ)

I had literally ten minutes to spare between his class and mine. When I went upstairs to set up my projector screen, I realized I left my notes home. πŸ˜£πŸ˜©πŸ™„πŸ€― I managed to remember and discuss five of the six points I had written down so I think I did aight. I streamed my class on self-love through Facebook live. Here’s the video for that.

Overall, it was fantastic having the opportunity to share my thoughts on love, boundaries, growth, and introspection. I was nervous a few times cuz I felt like I was talking too much πŸ™Š but it seemed balanced for the most part. Although 30 people signed up, I had a total of 13 attendees. Hearing their feedback on my topics was great for me not only as a facilitator, but as a person who enjoys reading and writing about self-love. I truly enjoy hearing other people’s perspectives on it.

Later that evening, we decided to go to a show at the Motor House. We took pictures and videos of a few familiar faces. I was pumped to finally meet Courtney, The Curvy Ballerina! Her spirit is beautiful as is her work.

Sunday was waaaay more lazy than it should’ve been, cuz my ass shoulda been packing for this trip! Wednesday can’t come soon enough but I know I’ll miss my lover terribly. 😩😩😭😭 My trip will be the longest we’ve been away from each other since we’ve been together so yeah, we ain’t feeling it; but I’m immensely grateful for video chat technology.

This was a lot so I’ll probably update once I get to St. Thomas.


The audacity of love

There are actually a lot of people in this world who don’t believe they’ll ever be in love. Like ever. This is not the same as having loved and lost said love. There are humans on this fascinating planet who don’t think they’ll ever meet someone who will make their heart sing, someone who’d they’d go to the ends of the earth and back for.

And I’m over here like…HOW?! πŸ€―πŸ§πŸ€”πŸ˜³

I guess cuz when it comes to love, I’m an eternal optimist who makes no apologies or concessions when it comes to the infinite possibilities of love one can have.

Notice I didn’t say anything regarding marriage. Marriage AIN’T for everybody. I do believe there is truly someone for everyone, and while our life paths are filled with twists, turns, valleys, and peaks, I am fully convinced that we all have innumerable opportunities to share our hearts with someone else. It might be brief. It might be until one of you dies; either way, I think it can happen for everyone.

Sometimes writing these thoughts out makes me wonder if people think I live in a fairytale. I’m sure there are some who do, and to them I say “Being in love should be magical. It should be beautiful. It should make you wanna extend yourself. It should give you constant glimmers of hope. It should be something everyone here has the joy to experience.”

I know loving someone and being in love with them are two different things. I guess the meat of my statements could boil down to this: All of us serve unique purposes on earth, and I hope you find some one (or several people) along the way to share your heart with.

The dating scene throughout history: A humorous synopsis

Y’all really think dating is so tough in 2018, huh?

Let’s step back in history and see how the political/economical climates may one-up this current time.

1) The good ole Great Depression: If you thought that young lady you saw in the market was gorgeous, you couldn’t afford to even look her in the eye cuz you knew you’d be in line sun up to sundown ALL week tryna get a job. Ya ass was broke phiiii broke. YOU AIN’T GOT IT!

NEXT! βœ…

2) The Civil War Era: This should be self-explanatory but… Let’s say you AREN’T a slave, or a free Negro. You’re not Black at all; but the man with the fancy stagecoach and perfectly groomed horses just so happens to be a Confederate soldier. You can’t bring him home to your Union daddy and brothers now, can you?

NEXT! βœ…

3) World War 2: It’s bad enough the country is at war with so many other nations, but now the sweet school teacher you’ve been winking at all week will have to wait hopefully until you return from your tour of duty. Why? Cuz the draft went into effect from 1940-1973 and your ass is eligible.

NEXT! βœ…

4) The Black Death: Also known as the plague, this wiped out 60% of Europe’s population in the mid 1300s. So that cute guy you saw leading the herd of goats through the marketplace probably gonna die by Saturday. πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ€§πŸ˜¬πŸ€•

NEXT! βœ…

5) The Crack Era/Reaganomics: As you should know, during the late 1980’s, cocaine was disproportionately shoveled into low-income neighborhoods, where the residents were predominantly black. Your mcm was an aspiring writer and poet, and yeah he had free will, but he took one hit of that ready rock and got caught up in the life. He’s either dead or in jail by now. So are his friends.

NEXT! βœ…

I said all of this to say people have persevered through unimaginable horrors throughout time. Life (and the dating scene) is what YOU make it. Stop crying about how social media is ruining things and get out there. πŸ’•πŸ—£

All For Love… A Series

The day I found love

It was freshman year of college. I was sitting in my dorm room, shooting the breeze with my roommate when she mentioned that her cousin would be stopping by to visit. I really didn’t think much of it. But when the door opened and my head turned – there stood Love!

(Without sounding cliche) there was a ring of light surrounding her, and at that moment I knew we were connected. That moment also had me fumbling words and I rarely do that. I improvised and blurred, β€œI like your sneakers”, but my heart was saying so much more. I almost instantly walked away, but not without having a story that would last forever. That love has long faded but nostalgia frequently reminds me of the day I found Love.

– Latoya Nickee

When a meme is your reality…

I saw this on ig and immediately swooned!! 😍 😍 πŸ™ŒπŸΎ πŸ‘πŸΎ ✨ ⚑️ 🀀🀧If your partner could wear the words you say about them, what would it look like? Too often, we say things without considering the consequences or the impact they may have.A committed, exclusive romantic relationship can be a beautiful, fulfilling thing. What things do you say to your partner? How do you build each other up? How do you quiet their insecurities (cuz we all got em)? How do you maintain that spark that drew you to them in the first place?The things you say to your partner about them in their relation to you have a tremendous effect on your relationship itself. Of course you love them, you’re in love with them… But how do you verbally express those things?I do believe love is a verb, an action; but those actions gotta be backed up with words, expressions of said love.If this is something you’re having difficulties with, write down some things you’d like to hear about yourself, then try saying them to your partner. Write things that you notice about your partner that are particularly impressive or heart-warming. Make note of when you see these things being exhibited and say something immediately to your love.Does your girlfriend take extra care when making your favorite dish, cooking it just the way you like? Tell her you love the way she pays attention to detail. Does your husband always leave your slippers by the bathroom door when you’re getting in the shower? Tell him how sweet you think he is for thinking about your comfort.I’d love to hear y’all feedback on this and follow up stories if you wanna share.βœ¨πŸ€—πŸ’ž

All For Love… A Series

I wrote this back in July, just before I started talking to who is now my boyfriend.

The men you find on dating sites:
β€’ The “toe-dipper”
This is the man who doesn’t fully disclose who he is on the dating site. In other words, they’re putting their big toe in the pool to test the temperature. Famous line – “I just want to see what’s out there.”
β€’ The “free-artist”
They’re looking for someone who can appreciate them, their art, free-spirit…and their polyamorus lifestyle. Also at times critical of your lifestyle.
β€’ The “buddy-finder”
They’re looking for the female equivalent of their best friend. You’d have all the same interests, pretty much the same everything…except you’d have the vagina. This way he doesn’t have to change his life for you, and he can have it all.
β€’ The “bruh”
They’re still doing that drinking thing. They’re also “living life to the fullest.”
β€’ The “drama-free zone”
They state that they’ve been down this road before and they “don’t need no one”. You have to prove that you are somehow different than the last five bitches who stomped on his heart. *Hint* You’re not different, but you’re also not the problem. He’s also not going to change.
β€’ The “traveler”
They’re town just for the weekend. They need someone to ‘show them around town.’ We all know what this means- let’s just say that he’s not into a long-term relationship.
β€’ The “friend searcher”
…The name says it all.
β€’ The “script-flipper”
This devious man is the one who seems to have it all. You believe that there is a genuine chance that this could be someone that you see yourself with. Then after a few conversations you start feeling as though you’re going crazy. He puts you down while laughing or makes a judgmental statement about you with a smile.
β€’ The “mysterious man”
You have your work cut out for you…his famous line is the only one on his profile…”want to know anything, just ask.” He’s trying to come across as open and friendly. He’s actually being lazy (you have to do all the work initiating a conversation) and attention-seeking. Must be nice to have women constantly seem interested in you.
β€’ The “I’ve Done It All” man.
This guy has traveled the world…twice. He speaks multiple languages and he has embraced every adventure from mountain climbing to sky diving to scuba diving. You are amazed at everything thing he has done so you message him hoping for a response. You hear nothing. It crosses your mind that maybe this person isn’t real after all.
β€’ The “video gamer”
Potentially has a bat cave…they will also not give up their video games. They will however be mesmerized if you joined them in their video game obsession.