Returning as a changed woman

I haven’t posted on here in months. A lot has changed. Some great, some bittersweet. All of it necessary though.

I went to St. Thomas for Carnival and felt invigorated, only to return to a crumbling relationship; the end of which made me want to go right back on vacation. I immediately contacted the travel recruiters for medical technologists I used to be in touch with, updated my profile, and began looking up cities that I could call my next home.

My contract at work was up the following week, and my apartment lease was for the end of June. Everything was falling apart/ending , only to make me prepare to rebuild/restabilize…..

Well, my work contract got extended (twice!), I didn’t pass the ASCP exam (which I’m about to reschedule), and my sister Faith had her baby. So yeah moving away wasn’t in my best interests in the short time that I’d decided but it’s still on the table.

What makes me say that is my experience in New Orleans. I randomly decided to go while at work one day in late May. Something was calling me about that city, and I’d been wanting to go for years. Not just for Essence or Mardi Gras, but to experience the culture. I have several associates and friends who live there so I was quick to ask for recommendations. I booked a relatively cheap flight ($162!), and skipped my happy ass there from June 14-17.

A homegirl I went to Morgan with lives there and let me to crash at her place. I was ecstatic! But I also wanted alone time, so I booked an Airbnb for the remainder of my trip. Soooo much happened in the four days I was there; I’ll make a separate post just for that trip. But I can see myself living there… Like for real. I got my palm read in the French Market and babbyyy when I tell you I slid out of my chair at the accuracy of the messages! Thank you to Michelle, the palm reader. I also met someone my last night there. The way our paths crossed is something out of a romance movie but again, that’s for another post, another time. Just know that I’ve been beaming ever since!

Toward the end of June, I completed my doula training and am now a full circle birth worker! You can read more about my training here. I cried my eyes out when I got my certificate. It was such an emotional moment, and my sister Faith got to be part of my training, since we had a blessing way for her and my nephew Xavier.

I also went to Baltimore’s Carnival in July, and the guy I met in NOLA was there too (part of how we hit it off)! My friends and I played DC Mud Mas which was A LOT of fun. I definitely gotta do that again. And there were parties leading up to the parade as well. Since my mom discovered we’re Haitian on her dad’s side, I’m doing what I can to immerse myself in Caribbean culture.

On a sad note, my friend Ciera’s mom passed after a lengthy battle with cancer. She took NO shit from anyone and I love that about her. May she rest in power.

Finally, on a high note, my sister Faith had her baby August 1st at 5:02 pm. She labored for awhile and went without medicine as long as she could, but ended up getting a C-section because she wasn’t dilated enough. Xavier has the sweetest little face and I am so proud of my sister for her hard work!

Whewww that was a lot! I won’t stay away so long ever again. Thanks for reading and I’ll be back with more updates soon. 😘

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Dental work and self love

Yesterday I braved my way to my dentist’s office; stomach in knots, worried about the needles, and most importantly, how hideous I’d look afterward. To my surprise, she got the anesthesia in without a hitch!

Apparently there are two types used during the procedure; one has epinephrine (a stimulant), the other doesn’t. So she inserts the non-epi drug into my semi-numb gums first then the next drug. When I tell y’all that method made a WORLD of a difference!!! The epi drug is the one that gives that tingling burst sensation in the gums upon insertion. Since she does that one last, my gums are already numb from the first drug so I couldn’t really feel it.πŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ™ŒπŸΎπŸ™ŒπŸΎπŸ€§πŸ€§

Two hours, three fillings and a crown mold later, I was all set! And what made it better was the fact that she let me play my own music so I wouldn’t hear the drilling as much. I love that my dentist is a Black woman with natural hair. Representation matters, especially in healthcare.

I definitely need to cut back on my sugar intake cuz I already have four more fillings scheduled. πŸ˜©πŸ™ˆ

In less painful news, my friend and I booked our flights to St. Thomas for Carnival in April!! βœˆοΈπŸ›©πŸŠπŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ§šπŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ’ƒπŸ½πŸ’ƒπŸ½πŸπŸ–β›±It’ll be my second time playing mas, and I can’t wait to pick our costumes. I’ve been working 60-75 hours a week lately since we’re short staffed and one of my coworkers died a month ago. At first when she gave me the trip dates, I was like “daaag I can’t take all those days off work!” but I quickly dismissed that thought.

I DESERVE. And not just cuz I’m working like crazy, but I deserve to go to the beach, dress up in beautiful clothes, dance, eat, and drink with hundreds of beautiful people cuz that’s the kind of stuff I enjoy. Also, since I didn’t make it to Puerto Rico for my birthday in September, I’ve been salty about not making it to the beach.

I think self love is whatever is healthy for you that you choose to engage in on whatever basis you like. It doesn’t have to be some grandiose spa trip with all the frills. Self love for me is definitely on a spectrum. I can spend my evening in silence with hot tea, animal crackers, and incense burning, or I can hop the next plane smoking to Miami for a weekend. Either way, I gotta remind myself to do things I enjoy because I wanna do them.

I can’t remember where I saw this message, but to paraphrase…

Don’t always save up things for the perfect time. Do them now. Enjoy things now. That dress you wanna wear for that wedding in the summer? Wear it next weekend! That recipe you saw on Pinterest that wanna try for your friend’s birthday? Cook it tonight! That poem you were gonna recite for the big poetry night? Do it impromptu in front of your friends.

I’m not saying don’t anticipate your big moments, just don’t get so caught up in timing being right that you miss out on the essence of that thing itself.