NAK Exchange Day!

(Written Sunday April 22, 2018)

Bruuhhhh yesterday was SO DOPE!!!

Mr. Huff’s Serene Self Portrait class was very euphoric, as we began with ten minutes of guided meditation. He usually guides meditation when it’s just the two of us so experiencing it with a group of people made me extra proud. I’ve never painted a self portrait, that I can recall, in my adult life. Here’s how mine progressed.

(Yall better not laugh. I’m not a visual artist by any means. πŸ™ˆπŸ˜‚πŸŽ¨πŸ–ΌοΈ)

I had literally ten minutes to spare between his class and mine. When I went upstairs to set up my projector screen, I realized I left my notes home. πŸ˜£πŸ˜©πŸ™„πŸ€― I managed to remember and discuss five of the six points I had written down so I think I did aight. I streamed my class on self-love through Facebook live. Here’s the video for that.

Overall, it was fantastic having the opportunity to share my thoughts on love, boundaries, growth, and introspection. I was nervous a few times cuz I felt like I was talking too much πŸ™Š but it seemed balanced for the most part. Although 30 people signed up, I had a total of 13 attendees. Hearing their feedback on my topics was great for me not only as a facilitator, but as a person who enjoys reading and writing about self-love. I truly enjoy hearing other people’s perspectives on it.

Later that evening, we decided to go to a show at the Motor House. We took pictures and videos of a few familiar faces. I was pumped to finally meet Courtney, The Curvy Ballerina! Her spirit is beautiful as is her work.

Sunday was waaaay more lazy than it should’ve been, cuz my ass shoulda been packing for this trip! Wednesday can’t come soon enough but I know I’ll miss my lover terribly. 😩😩😭😭 My trip will be the longest we’ve been away from each other since we’ve been together so yeah, we ain’t feeling it; but I’m immensely grateful for video chat technology.

This was a lot so I’ll probably update once I get to St. Thomas.

πŸ’žπŸ’ž

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Black Maternal Health Week!

(Written Tuesday April 17th, 2018)

If I could, I would bottle today and open it during a shitty one.

β€’ Early for work. Early off.πŸ’ŠπŸ’‰πŸ”¬

β€’ Great hair day. πŸ’πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ’†πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸŒ³β˜οΈ

β€’ Happy hour solo date at Aloha (veggie pot stickers, fried salmon sushi, ginger ale)

Today culminated the end of Black Maternal Health Week. I went to a screening of the documentary Death by Delivery at MedChi. Of course I’m ready to book my doula clients now but I know there’s much work to be done first. It was invigorating being around so many awesome women. Yes there are horrible statistics surrounding Black maternal health but I’m one of many people working to change them. In case you’re unaware like I was, Black women are FOUR TIMES as likely to die from pregnancy related causes than White women in the good ole USA; the only industrialized country with such staggering statistics.

I left the seminar floating on oxytocin, but was definitely hungry. Luckily, I stumbled upon a live jazz band playing at Trinacria across from Mt. Vernon Marketplace. Because it was late, I ate light, just a bowl of minestrone and Caesar salad.

I went home satiated and full of positive vibes, then burned some incense and Paolo Santo before bed. πŸ’žπŸ”₯βœ¨πŸŒŸπŸ’«πŸŒ¬

Departure to St. Thomas is in 8 days and I think I’m finally starting to get my mind in vacation mode…. I think. πŸ€¨πŸ™„πŸ˜‚

Shoulda got the Zoom Kobe 4’s πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

(For context regarding the title of this post, watch this. πŸ˜©πŸ˜‚πŸ€)

Thursday evening, while heading to the back porch to relax with Mr. Huff, I missed two steps, twisted my ankle, and landed on my back like a bug. πŸ˜«πŸ™„πŸ¦—πŸœI was terrified it was broken, and with my job ending soon, I lay there panicking while he scrambled out of his lawn chair, yelling “Babe, are you playing or you really hurt?!”

*Disclaimer*

I’m a bit dramatic.

OK. I’m very dramatic. Fine. But to be fair, it’s inherited! My mother is an Oscar winning actress just for fact that she exists. You don’t know dramatic til you know my mama. And I say that in love. πŸ˜˜πŸ˜‚

So anyway, he’s asking am I joking or not while helping me gingerly to my feet. I felt warmth shooting from my right shin to the tips of my toes. Aagggh! I rotated my foot a few times and pointed it toward the sky then the ground. Since I could do all that, I figured it wasn’t broken. He looked at me warily and said “Well I think you should get it checked out”. I rolled my eyes into a double axel and told him I’d do it only if I couldn’t stand or walk the next day.

Shole nuff, I got up the next morning and while my foot hadn’t swelled at all, the area that hurt the night before was in much worse pain; and to top it off, I could barely stand on it! I let boss lady know I wouldn’t be in and got myself propped up on the couch with a bag of frozen corn resting oddly on my ashy ankle. After Mr. Huff called me on his breakfast break, crossly implying that I should have already gone to the local urgent care center, I dragged myself off the couch into an Uber and crossed my fingers hoping to not spend my entire Friday afternoon there.

Thankfully, I DIDN’T break it, and I had no qualms about being plucky (as my dad often calls me) in my room while I awaited discharge papers.

I wrote a snarky message on the chalkboard in my room. I love that they make accommodations for people with children or just those who wanna create and express themselves while waiting to be treated. πŸ˜‚

“Don’t tek mi fi eediat” is a Jamaican phrase essentially meaning “don’t treat me like I’m stupid/an idiot.” No, the staff hadn’t done anything to insult my intelligence, I just felt like being plucky. πŸ˜ˆπŸ˜‡πŸ‡―πŸ‡²

Next, I hobbled over to Chipotle, across the parking lot from the urgent care place, but getting there felt like I was walking on the Great Frontier. I had on an ankle brace, a post-op shoe (the kind that no matter what you do, you look like ya shoe is on the wrong foot πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ), AND a pair of crutches. People were very helpful, although I was heavy laden. Imagine maneuvering a dine in tray while wearing an Eskimo coat, carrying a bookbag AND a purse?!

The young lady at the register told me she’d get my napkins but things got busy so I hopped to the utensils and condiments, sheepishly grinning at her when I returned to my seat. “Oh I would’ve gotten it for you!” I smiled and replied “Nah it’s OK. You’re at work! You got busy.”, and I thought for a moment if people with permanent disabilities dealt with that on a regular basis. I managed to climb into an Uber to go home, ready for a nap.

Saturday was rest filled. I don’t remember much of it. I focused on staying off my foot and sleeping. Sunday, Mr. Huff had a vending opportunity for his brand Love More Bmore at Creative Alliance. I went with him and networked a bit, spoke with some artists we know, and tried some crab pizza from this place called Matthew’s Pizzeria across the street.

I guess I had an eventful weekend. Almost hard to believe I’ll be on vacation in two weeks. In theory, I’m excited. The reality is that my recent job issues have cast a bit of a shadow on my quickly approaching relaxation time. I know I’ll be fine and will figure out what my next steps will be, but with my trip two weeks away as well as two weeks before my contract ends, I am a bit nervous. I’ll keep yall updated as time dwindles down.πŸ’ž

The audacity of love

There are actually a lot of people in this world who don’t believe they’ll ever be in love. Like ever. This is not the same as having loved and lost said love. There are humans on this fascinating planet who don’t think they’ll ever meet someone who will make their heart sing, someone who’d they’d go to the ends of the earth and back for.

And I’m over here like…HOW?! πŸ€―πŸ§πŸ€”πŸ˜³

I guess cuz when it comes to love, I’m an eternal optimist who makes no apologies or concessions when it comes to the infinite possibilities of love one can have.

Notice I didn’t say anything regarding marriage. Marriage AIN’T for everybody. I do believe there is truly someone for everyone, and while our life paths are filled with twists, turns, valleys, and peaks, I am fully convinced that we all have innumerable opportunities to share our hearts with someone else. It might be brief. It might be until one of you dies; either way, I think it can happen for everyone.

Sometimes writing these thoughts out makes me wonder if people think I live in a fairytale. I’m sure there are some who do, and to them I say “Being in love should be magical. It should be beautiful. It should make you wanna extend yourself. It should give you constant glimmers of hope. It should be something everyone here has the joy to experience.”

I know loving someone and being in love with them are two different things. I guess the meat of my statements could boil down to this: All of us serve unique purposes on earth, and I hope you find some one (or several people) along the way to share your heart with.

Today is better than yesterday!

(Written April 5th)

I love getting little reminders from the Universe through other people that I’m amazing and inspirational. Especially on days when I feel like I don’t know up from down.

Also, unrelated; but it’s incredibly hard to get a reaction out of someone who doesn’t care. That’s how I feel at work lol. I had already mentally checked out but since yesterday I’m in fuck it mode. I know I gotta reel it in and care a LITTLE but it’ll be hard lol. All I’m focused on is making sure I have several strong safety nets in place for when my job situation ends in a few weeks.

I wrote that ^ at work a few hours ago. My best friend J just texted me with an opportunity to stabilize myself. I’m so grateful for her. She reminds me to pay it forward when I can and be a blessing to others. She also reminds me to be patient with people. πŸ’žπŸ’ž

Next week I’ll be going to a few job fairs with on site interviews, so I’m taking off work for that. Boss lady said I can use PTO, but to be honest, I don’t even know if I have any?! πŸ˜«πŸ˜‚πŸ§πŸ€”

Rude awakening

Today I found out I won’t be continuing at my job after my contract ends. To say the least, I was stunned. I thought they were going to keep me on! When the HR lady asked if I had any questions, I said nope. No need to ask if they’ve already made their decision.

I was already unhappy with my hours being so long and my schedule being erratic. A few months ago, I told myself “I have got to get out here. I need to focus on what I love and work for myself.” My doula certification is in a few months, and I already wanted to immerse myself in that world. I also plan to travel and see other parts of the world.

It’s weird but I kinda felt relieved, although the process was happening much faster than I’d planned.

I called my mom and she said “you’re like a cat. You always land on your feet.” That was the perfect encouragement in that moment, particularly because I knew she was right. I know things always have a way of falling into place in my life, I’m just curious about the shape things will take in the next six weeks.

Thank God I have a vacation on the horizon. I’ll definitely need a beautiful escape.

Digital Electronical Social Sabbatical

Hello lovelies,

It’s been awhile! My distance here was intentional and I’m excited to share that I’m officially on a social media hiatus. I don’t think blogging counts per se, since I’m using this primarily as a journaling tool, then as a public discussion platform.

I’ve had Facebook since 2005… Wow. Thirteen years of pictures, videos, and words. I joined Twitter in 2009, Tumblr in 2010, Instagram in 2012, and Snapchat in 2014.

THAT’S A LOT OF COTDAMB INFORMATION.

So I guess this break was looong overdue, hmm? In my mind, being on social media is like sitting in jury duty waiting for your number to be called, and you can’t ever go to the quiet room. Some people are talking, some are singing, some are cussing, some say very little, some are arguing. It takes real work to mute out or decrease the volume silence all those voices, those opinions, those discussions. I’ve been on there so long, I didn’t realize I’d never intentionally been away from my page for a considerable amount of time.

Yesterday began a new month, and with 23 days and counting until I bask in the St. Thomas sun, I figured my social media vacation could start before my physical one. I deleted all my apps and only have the WordPress active. I also downloaded DuoLingo and began learning French. πŸ‡«πŸ‡·

I’ll definitely be meditating more with all this quiet time as well as getting a reiki session (energy healing). This will be an emotional cleanup and vacation of sorts.

This past weekend was very restful, love filled, and full of introspective moments. I’ll be journaling every day the rest of the month, even if it’s an iNote. Oh and I blow dried my hair so here are some pictures until she gets braided again.

😘 Mr. Huff and I look like we’re in some crunchy, granola type 70’s noir romance film (did I just describe my ideal movie??! πŸ€”). 🌸🌻🌞πŸ”₯